翻译: 自心 腿儿
校对: super死打斯基
开场是Kimmy和Titus压马路 Okay, open on Kimmy and Titus walking down the street.
Titus容光焕发 Titus, looking amazing:
后期: 秋小豚
你的三角恋现在什么情况 How's your little love triangle going?
拒绝回答 下个问题 Nope. Next topic.
怎么可以这样 How dare you?
最近三个月来都是 For the last three months, it's been,
压制: 凯撒
"互联网是什么 他是谁 "What's the Internet? Who's that guy?
Tilda Swinton是什么" What's Tilda Swinton?"
Tilda Swinton 好莱坞女星 被称为"前卫女神"
我都说了 And I have told you:
"管子 总统 谁都不清楚" "Tubes, the president, and no one knows."
现在你总算有点八卦可挖了 And now you have something juicy happening...
听着 我可不觉得好玩 Look, this is not fun for me.
Logan和Dong打了起来 I mean, Logan got into a fight with Dong,
就因为Dong喜欢我么 because Dong likes me?
享受被关注的感觉吧 女人 Enjoy the attention, woman.
追溯上一次我成为两个男人的争"端" The last time I had two men fighting over me,
还是火烧岛上 我被当成桌子让人掰手腕 I was a table at a Fire Island arm wrestling match.
火烧岛 美国同志圣地
享受 我快难受死了 Enjoy it? I feel sick to my stomach.
我该怎么跟他们说啊 I mean, what do I even say to them?
那是一只头上绑了个蝴蝶结的海豚么 Is that a dolphin with a bow on it?
这么说肯定不行啊 No, you wouldn't say that.
不对 什么 Wait. What?
Kimmy 我想为昨晚的事道歉 Kimmy, I wanted to apologize for last night.
我记得你说你喜欢海豚 I recalled that you said you like dolphins.
别担心 它能呼吸 Oh, don't worry. He can breathe.
它是哺乳动物 He's a mammal.
- 这我放哪啊 - 别让它再这么盯着我 - Where would I even put it? - Make it stop looking at me!
*简直坚不可摧 她们活下来了 卧槽* *Unbreakable. They alive, damn it*
*真是个奇迹 坚不可摧* *It's a miracle. Unbreakable*
*她们活下来了 卧槽* *They alive, damn it*
*但是女人们可真牛逼啊* *But females are strong as hell*
*简直坚不可摧 她们活下来了 卧槽* *Unbreakable. They alive, damn it*
*真是个奇迹* *It's a miracle*
*简直坚不可摧 她们活下来了 卧槽* *Unbreakable. They alive, damn it*
*接下来是* That's gonna be, uh...
我 本 坚 强
第一季 第十集
*就是 华丽的变身* *you know, a fascinating transition*
电波诚译
*卧槽* *Damn it*
Kimmy 我深切后悔我的行为 Kimmy, I truly regret my behavior,
但是我觉得我之所以那样 but I think I reacted that way
是因为我很在乎你 because I really care about you.
爱心熊 泰迪熊前身 颜色各异的一群熊
那爱心熊会对你的表达方式说什么 Well, what would the Care Bears say about how you show it?
这取决于具体哪只熊了 Kimmy It would depend on the bear, Kimmy.
重点是 我过激了 The point is, I overreacted.
我只是不习惯遇到困难 I'm just not used to obstacles.
当初我攀上珠峰 When I summited Mount Everest,
是坐我爸的私人飞艇上去的 I did it in my daddy's private blimp.
说实话 我还没见过 To be honest, I've never even
公共飞艇是什么样的呢 seen the inside of a public blimp.
我能说什么的 What can I say?
我是爸爸的贴心小棉袄 I'm a bit of a Daddy's Boy.
- 有这种说法么 - 当然有了 - Is that a thing? - Of course it is.
你听说过妈妈的心头肉 对不对 You've heard of a Mama's Boy, right?
虽然我不太明白为什么有人想当那个 Although frankly I don't see the appeal.
听着 你是我男朋友 Look, you're my boyfriend.
Dong只是我朋友 Dong is just my friend.
但是他不这么想 But he wants more than that.
他想要的是嘿咻 亲爱的 He wants to shoop, baby.
- 嘿咻 - 我知道 - Shoop. - I know.
我会告诉他我选了你 So I will tell him that I picked you.
你这还不够 You have to do more than that.
你得和他断绝关系 You need to cut him off completely.
你想让我和Dong老死不相往来么 You want me to tell Dong that we can't be friends anymore?
这也是为他好 It's for his sake.
你要是继续做朋友 他不会死心的 If you stay friends, he's always gonna want more.
早断早了 Better to just end it now.
而且你知道怎样能减轻伤害么 And you know what I find helps soften bad news?
用英伦腔 A British accent.
那只海豚死在了路边 The dolphin died on the sidewalk.
Dong我的好伙伴 你好 'Ello, Dong, me lad!
胡言乱语 Poppycock!
你我情谊已断 I am rather not your friend anymore.
下午茶 Tea time!
我好像装不像 I don't know if I can do this.
这地方太好玩了 This place is hilarious.
从没被绑架过的人觉得这里吓人 真好笑 It's so funny what people who have never been kidnapped think is scary.
会说话的乌鸦 Talking crows?
我要能认识一只会说话的乌鸦多好啊 I would have loved to meet a talking crow.
死神的阴影笼罩一切 Death looms over us all.
我跟你说没 我给疯狂科学家的空缺试镜了 Did I tell you? I auditioned to be a replacement mad scientist?
他有独白的机会 He gets a monologue,
而且还不用打扫女卫生间 and he doesn't have to clean the ladies' room.
说到这个 女人真恶心 Women are disgusting, BT-dubs.
Titus 我真为你感到高兴 Titus, I'm so excited for you.
我是很令人高兴 I'm exciting.
现在谁是Kimmy的男朋友啊 Now, who got the role of Kimmy's boyfriend?
我正式选择了Logan I've officially picked Logan.
太好了 Okay. Great.
等着 Wait.
教你避孕的任务是不是就落到我的头上了 Is it gonna be up to me to teach you about birth control?
应该吧 但是不着急 Probably. But not yet.
第三次约会的时候 Logan和我出了点状况 On our third date, Logan and I had a mishap.
准备好进行下一步了吗 Can we take this to the next level?
当然 Of course.
噢 我的脊椎 我 Oh, my spine! My...
我以为我所知道的结果全是错的 Apparently all the stuff I thought I knew was way wrong.
他昏过去了一会儿 He passed out for a second.
所以我跟他说我想再等等 So I told him I want to wait a while.
哦 Oh.
难怪他给你送了头海豚过来 That's why he went full dolphin for you.
估计没人让那富二代等过 I bet nobody's made that rich boy wait for anything.
Titus 你觉得 Titus, do you think it's weird
Logan让我和Dong绝交奇怪吗 that Logan wants me to stop being friends with Dong?
实话实说 不奇怪 Honestly, no.
世界上最惨的莫过于 There's nothing worse than thinking
你觉得还有一线希望 you have a shot at something
别人都知道为时已 when everyone else knows that ship...
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
请注意了 your attention please.
慢着 那是Rick吗 Hold up. Is that Rick?
这家饭店里 有一只怪物在游荡 There is a creature on the loose in this establishment!
它曾是我心爱的创造物 This monster was once my beloved creation...
我心脏的脉冲让它有了生命 Brought to life with the electrokinesis of my own heartbeat.
别的科学家会说我很疯狂 Other men of my profession may tell you I am mad.
是我很疯狂吗 是吗 Am I mad? Am I mad?!
我是很生气(疯狂) I am mad.
我试镜Van Peebles博士的时候 When I auditioned to be Dr. Van Peebles,
你告诉我 不是原话 我棒极了 you told me, and I don't quote, I was amazing.
结果你让Rick来演 But then you cast Rick?
我怎么跟你说呢 Titus I don't know what to tell you, Titus.
Van Peebles博士是个直男 Dr. Van Peebles has to play as straight.
故事的结局可是他娶了独眼巨人新娘 I mean, the show ends with him marrying The Cyclops Bride.
演得好 Rick Good show, Rick.
我也不知道 亲爱的 I don't know, honey.
你试过把遥控器电池拿出来 Have you tried talking the batteries out of the remote
再放回去吗 and putting them back in?
你别哭 Well, don't cry.
别哭呀 Michael Come on, Michael.
Michael Michael?
他比我还要弯 Why, he's as gay as I want to be.
我们今天在这里商讨 We are here today to discuss the terms of the divorce
Julian和Jacqueline Voorhees的离婚事宜 of Julian and Jacqueline Voorhees.
感谢你们百忙之中抽空来参加 Thank you for joining me. I know you're both very busy.
- 慢着 什么 - 他们要离婚了 - Wait. What? - They're getting divorced?
我被授权告诉你们 I have been authorized to assure you
你们没有错 that it's not your fault,
他们不会因此少爱你们一点的 they don't love you any less,
成年人的关系很复杂的 grown-up relationships are complicated,
如此如此 这般这般 et cetera, et cetera.
对了 Oh.
在这里签上你的姓名首字母 Great, now if you would initial here
说明你收到了一个拥抱 to indicate that you received a hug.
签这里表示你得到了安慰 And here to acknowledge that you were comforted.
好了 Great.
监护权的事有说法没 Wait, what's the deal with custody?
监护权这事有没有个说法呢 What is the deal with custody?
因为是真事儿所以才好笑 Xan It's funny, 'cause it's true, Xan.
你还真是在问啊 慢着 Oh, you're really asking. Hold on.
我确定在这边 You know what? I know it's back here.
肯定在这堆里 It's one of these.
说真的 Titus 我曾和你一样 Honestly, Titus, I was just like you.
选角总是被定型 I was always getting typecast
总是警察局里那个逗乐的同性恋 as the funny gay guy who works at the police station.
哪有这种角色啊 That's not even a thing.
或者随手造新词的风骚闺蜜 Or the sassy best friend who makes up words.
就像"胖冬儿" Like "Snowbesity."
形容那些因为到了冬天 It's when you don't know if someone's fat or not
看不出来是胖还是穿得厚的人 'cause they're wearing a winter coat.
但是后来我拯救了我的事业 But then I turned my career around,
多亏Le Loup thanks to Le Loup.
直男教练
真"朵"吗 For realsies?
真"哆"啊 For realisingtons.
他很严厉 但上个月 我订下了要给 He's tough, but last month, I booked a radio ad
彩弹射击做电台广告 for a paintball range.
世界上最直的周末活动 The straightest of all weekend activities.
好吧 Okay.
我爸妈要离婚了 My parents are getting divorced.
一年有两个圣诞节可过了 Two Christmases! Yes!
你个贱人(母狗) You bitch.
母狗吗 会生可爱狗宝宝的吗 A female dog? The thing that makes puppies?
多谢夸奖 Xan Nice compliment, Xan.
你为什么要怂恿Jacqueline跟我爸离 Why would you tell Jacqueline to divorce my dad?
她现在要拆我们汉普顿房子的每个角落搞铜电线 Now she's stripping our Hamptons house for copper wire,
而我必须搬到康涅狄格州 and I have to go live in Connecticut
和我妈 Roger和他们恶心的孩子们住一起 with my mom and Roger and their gross babies.
首先 Okay, first of all,
我从没指使你后妈干过任何事 I never made your stepmom do anything,
除了有次她逼我逼她吃了一个花生巧克力豆 except for the time she made me make her eat a peanut M&M.
这电话真大啊 Whoa, that's a big phone.
我的生活怎么就被你个白痴给毁了 How has my life been ruined by someone so stupid?
妈妈 你好啊 Hi, Mom.
Xanthippe 你气色不好啊 Xanthippe, you look tired.
最近大便通畅吗 How are your BMs?
妈 别这样 Mom, jeez.
不用说了 我懂了 Well, there's my answer.
你东西打包了没 So are you all packed?
这里可比纽约冷多了 Remember, it's colder here than it is in the city.
内面有缝小水鸟的 Do you have enough corduroy slacks
那种灯芯绒裤子你带够了吗 with the little waterfowl stitched in them?
什么 才没有 What? No.
律师说这学期结束了我才搬家 The lawyer said I don't move until the end of the semester.
但是我那周要开始做果酱了 Yes, but I'm going to be putting up my jams that week,
所以我明天就去接你 so I'm coming to get you tomorrow.
什么 才不要 What? No.
你不能这么对我 No, you can't do that.
天呐 Xanthippe My God, Xanthippe.
到我这里你可不能这么任性了 The histrionics are not going to fly in this house,
家里还有五胞胎呢 especially around the quintuplets.
而且Roger玩起了意念高尔夫 And Roger has taken up mental golfing where he uses his mind
他想象自己在世界著名的球场里打 to play some of the world's most famous courses.
所以我希望过来的是 So I really hope we're getting
以前文静的Xan the nice quiet Xan,
而不是后来青春期躁动的Xan the one we knew before she invented teen angst.
Helene 小点声 Helene, please!
我在圣安德鲁斯打球 风大着呢 I'm playing St. Andrews, and it's very windy.
这完全是扯淡 This is BS.
这里被扯的只有冬南瓜 The only BS around here is butternut squash,
我种的各种瓜的其中一种 one of the dozens of varieties of squash I grow.
我希望你喜欢吃瓜 I hope you like squash.
对了 明天我们要和征服队 Also, tomorrow we're playing squash
打壁球 against the Squashes.
到时候见 See you then.
我不能住在那里 I can't live there.
我只要和我爸谈谈 I just need to talk to my father.
他拒绝不了爸爸的贴心小棉袄的 He can't say no to his Daddy's Girl.
这话女儿来说就没问题了嘛 Oh, see, that sounds like a thing.
但是他在菲利普船长幻想营里 周一才回来 But he's at his Captain Phillips fantasy camp until Monday.
2013年根据真实事件改编的冒险剧情片
我得拖延时间 I need to stall.
你 你必须帮我 You! You have to help me.
这不是我的问题 Uh, no. This is none of my beeswax.
我可不想管 I don't want to interfere.
Kimmy 你设身处地的想一下(穿穿我的鞋) Kimmy, put yourself in my shoes.
天 不是字面意思上的 Oh, my God! Not literally.
简直像对牛弹琴 It's like talking to a chicken.
想象一下你现在15岁 Imagine you're 15,
有一天 有人要将整个生活从你身边夺走 and one day your whole life gets taken from you:
你的学校 朋友 your school, your friends,
还有只要把你的旧牙套给他 your dad's friend who buys you jewelry
就能给你买首饰的你爸爸的朋友 if you send him your old retainers.
好吧 Xan 你说怎么做 Okay, Xan. What are we gonna do?
我们得让我妈拒绝 We're gonna make my mom refuse
带我回康涅狄格洲 to take me back to Connecticut.
有人吗 Hello?
Le Loup先生 Mr. Le Loup?
哈喽 嗨 Hello. Hi.
Rick Barnes给我介绍的你 Rick Barnes gave me your name.
他说你跟演员合作 He said that you work with actors
让他们"好受" to help them "Ass-pay."
是"通过试镜"的颠倒语序 That was Pig Latin for "Pass."
我为啥偏要现在决定尝试看看 Why would I try Pig Latin for the first time ever
玩颠倒语序 right now anyways?
蠢爆了 So stupid.
我不能和你合作 I can't work with you.
- 什么 - 你没潜力 - What? - You have no potential.
滚出去 Get out.
我好不容易坐着大巴来到这里 But I rode a bus to get here.
那个大巴还从吊桥上开过 A bus that went over a drawbridge.
行 我才不需要你呢 Fine. I don't need you!
再见 管你是谁 Bye, Felicia!
很好 Very good.
你吼了 拒绝帮助 You yelled. You denied help.
还打坏了东西 You broke something.
这是你的第一课 That's your first lesson
关于如何表现的像个直男 in behaving like a straight man.
你的第二课 Your second lesson...
就是他不是Le Loup Is that he is not Le Loup.
- 嘿 - 怎样 - Hey. - Yeah, what's up?
再见 那个谁 Bye, Felicia.
我要将你击碎 I'm gonna break you down,
但是当我再把你组合在一起的时候 but by the time I put you back together,
你就会从脏衣服堆里捡短裤穿 you're gonna be pulling shorts out of the dirty laundry
想都不想的在马桶上吃鸡翅 and eating wings on the crapper without even trying.
好吧 Okay.
训练马上开始 Training begins immediately,
因为明天你就要去 because tomorrow you have an audition
试镜<明星伙伴2> for Entourage 2.
<明星伙伴2> Entourage 2?
我不行 那帮人太直了 I can't. Those guys are so straight.
直到不能再直了 Almost too straight.
直到好像在掩饰什么一样 Like they're compensating for something?
- 是啊 - 他们中的两个是这样的 - Yeah. - Two of them are.
等下 那是之前客户还是角色范本啊 Wait, are those former clients or role models?
现在就开始 It begins now!
抱歉 Dong 不过 I'm sorry, Dong, but...
我们不是朋友 Oy! We're not mates.
我现在跟Logan在一起了 你离本姑娘远一点 I'm with Logan now. Get off of the barbie!
这不是英伦腔 That's not British.
英国人是这样说话的 This is-a how you talka the British.
我要缓和语气 然后像个英国人那样讲话 I'ma soften the blow by a-talka the British.
好 好多了 Okay, that's good.
暂停营业
二十四小时营业
我很抱歉 胡渣齐 I'm so sorry, Hu Zha Qi.
这就是你的错 This is your fault.
我巴不得你死了 变成鬼 I hope you die, become ghost,
在这个屋子里飘来飘去 fly around the room.
那样大家就都开心了 That make everybody happy.
Kimmy 你在这干嘛 Kimmy, what are you doing here?
发生什么了 大家都哪去了 What happened? Where is everyone?
移民局突袭了这个饭店 Immigration raided the restaurant.
他们带走了所有人 They took everyone...
厨子 服务员 洗碗工 Cooks, waiters, dishwashers.
我当时在送外卖 I was out on a delivery,
不然他们就把我也抓走了 or else they would have gotten me too.
多亏了福特汉姆法学院的学生抽了那么多大麻 Thank God Fordham Law school students smoke so much weed.
Dong 那也太吓人了 Dong, that's so scary.
店长说他们是来找我的 And the owner says that they came here looking for me.
你不能呆在这啊 快回家 You can't stay here. Go home!
这就是我家 This is my home!
胡渣齐让我睡在烤架上 Hu Zha Qi let me sleep on the grill.
要是时间调的对 还是很惬意的 If you time it right, it's very cozy.
嘿 Hey.
差点忘了这个 Almost forgot this.
我们要是不给你收据 If we don't give you a receipt,
这次突袭就白干了 then the whole raid is free.
要是Dong Nguyen回来了 And if that Dong Nguyen comes back,
你们记得通知我们 you guys let us know.
收到 警官 You got it, chief.
够了 你跟我来 That's it. You're coming with me.
你可以睡在沙发上 You can sleep on the couch.
哦 不 那是我踹的洞吗 Oh, no. Is that my leg hole?
没事 It's okay.
我和住在里面的 I'm pretty good friends
准浣熊妈妈处的还不错 with the pregnant raccoon who lives in there.
Kimmy 是我毁了我们之间的关系的吧 Kimmy, I'm afraid I ruined everything between us.
听着 Dong 并不是谁的错 Look, Dong, it's not anyone's fault.
只是 我和你在一起很开心 It's just, I have so much fun with you.
还记得坐缆车去罗斯福岛那次吗 Remember when we took the tram to Roosevelt Island?
后来我们发现吊着我们的就一根缆绳 And we realized it was just one wire holding us up?
吓得咱们不停的尖叫 We started screaming and screaming,
然后所有乘客都开始大叫 and then all the commuters started screaming too.
因为他们从咱们的眼睛里看到了 Because they were seeing it through our eyes.
我们的看法那么一致 Kimmy And we agree on everything, Kimmy.
比如人们现在倡导的"食当地当季" Like how it's so weird that people
我们都觉得奇怪 want to "Eat local."
是呢 我可不想吃我可能认识的鸟 Yeah, I don't want to eat a bird I might know.
还有瓶装水到底是怎么回事 And what's with all the bottled water?
为什么大家总是渴到不行啊 Why is everyone so thirsty all the time?
呐 我已经醒了一秒了 "Duh, I've been awake for one second.
我得喝点水 I better have some water."
哦 在我去买水的路上 "Oh, I better carry my water with me
最好也随身带着水 while I walk to the water store."
听我说 Dong 你要知道 Listen, Dong, I need you to know...
Logan是我男朋友 that Logan is my boyfriend,
所以你和我 so you and I...
只能是朋友 will just be friends.
好吧 朋友 Okay. Friends.
哈喽 小美"逼" Hello, Sugar Walls.
不对 Nope.
好的 嗨 All right. Hi.
我父母明天要坐飞艇来 Listen, my parents are blimping into town tomorrow,
要是你能跟我们一起吃晚餐就再好不过了 and I would love it if you would join us for dinner.
你父母 天 Your parents? Boy.
好的 没问题 Okay. Sure.
太棒了 Wonderful.
他们大约在4点到7点之间着陆 So they're landing sometime between 4:00 and 7:00,
降落在45号街道和巴克郡之间某地 somewhere between 45th Street and Bucks County.
Bucks county在宾夕法尼亚州
放轻松 小姑娘 Easy, girl.
好的 Okay.
我等不及让你见我妈了 I can't wait for you to meet Mom,
尤其是我爸 but especially Daddy.
哦 Kimmy Oh, Kimmy,
我们能把那些不愉快抛在脑后 I'm so glad we were able to put
我真是太欣慰了 all that unpleasantness behind us.
呃 我也是 Uh... me, too.
到时见 Till then.
走起来啊 宝贝 Come on, darling.
对咯 走起来 That's right. Come on.
天呐 Kimmy Oh, my God. Kimmy.
这是你的公寓 This is your apartment?
你也太穷了 太好了 You're so poor. It's perfect.
场景 两个直男一起看电影 scenario, two straight men attend a movie.
开始 Go.
不对 No!
你得留一个空位 You leave a buffer seat.
情景 你渴了 开始 scenario, you're thirsty. Go.
不对 No.
直男从不用吸管 Straight men don't drink through straws.
跟爱尔兰小精灵似的 It looks like you're a leprechaun's .
场景 我是你一同事 scenario I'm a coworker,
下班后在酒吧跟你讲一个悲伤的故事 telling you a sad story at a bar after work.
假如我说 我老婆 得了重病 I go, "My wife, she's so sick.
被马桶座圈传染了埃博拉 She got Ebola from a toilet seat."
不对 No!
首先 你得喝啤酒 First of all, you're drinking beer.
然后直男从不表露任何 And straight men never give any indication
他们在听的迹象 they're listening.
他们也不会点头 They don't even nod.
现在 听着 面无表情 像个男人一样 Now, you listen, stone-faced, like a man,
不管发生什么 no matter what!
埃尔顿·约翰刚刚死了 Elton John just died.
著名摇滚歌手 出柜双性恋
我喜欢酸洗牛仔裤 I like acid-washed jeans.
麦当娜完全被高估了 Madonna is overrated!
Xanthippe Lannister Voorhees Xanthippe Lannister Voorhees,
要是这是你开的一个玩笑 if this is your idea of a joke,
你丫就真适合伍迪·艾伦的电影 you belong in a Woody Allen film
因为我完全没被逗乐 because I am not laughing.
我现在到了你发给我的地址这儿了 I am at the address you sent me.
我要去摁门铃了 I'm going to ring the buzzer,
要是我被杀了 but if I get murdered,
看在上帝的份上 for God's sake,
把我的尸体拖过第96街 drag my body below 96th Street,
纽约富人区上东区 上西区的边界
再报警 then call the police.
哦 她来了 Okay, that's her.
毒品
酷炫 Far out.
你一定是Xan家的老太太吧 You must be Xan's old lady.
这是那种树根里的小密室吗 Is this a root cellar?
嘿 妈 Hey, Mom.
一个小问题 我在康涅狄格州的屋子 Quick question: is my room in Connecticut
能放下我的架子鼓吗 big enough for my drum set?
这什么情况 小姑娘 What is going on here, young lady?
给我上车 Get in the car!
但我的黑人男友 But my black boyfriend
正带着朗姆酒过来呢 is coming by with rum.
怎么样 妓女们 What's up, fellow prostitutes?
你们吸毒的钱还给不给了 Where's all the money from the drugs you smoked?
淡定 哥们 Be cool, man.
别在我妈面前说这事儿 Not in front of my mom.
Kimmy 给眼镜蛇钱 Kimmy, pay Cobra.
呃 可是我没钱啊 Uh, but I don't have any money.
那就肉偿 Then pay him with your body.
哦 天呐 Oh, good God.
嘿 放开我女朋友 Hey! Hands off my girlfriend.
你男朋友是个基佬啊 And you're dating a gay guy?
当然 Sure.
我告诉他可以待在康涅狄格州我姥姥的旧屋里 I told him he could stay in Grandma's old room in Connecticut.
不 没门 No, no. I don't think so.
我要把你带去市政厅 I'm taking you back to the townhouse
把你交还给你爹处理 and letting your father deal with you.
就算是Le Loup也救不了我了 Even Le Loup can't help me.
我永远没法在伏特加发布派对上帮E泡妞了 I'll never be E's wingman at the vodka release party.
说的Eric Murphy<明星伙伴>中人物 电影中一般他是扮演wingman角色的那个人
Kimmy 我感觉我不能仅仅安于做你的朋友 Kimmy, I don't think I can just be your friend.
你说什么 What are you saying?
我再也不能假装对你没感觉 I can't pretend I don't have feelings for you anymore.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我不能再呆在这儿了 I can't stay here.
那你能去哪 But where are you gonna go?
芒特艾里林间小屋吧 Probably the Mount Airy Lodge.
广告上说我只需带去 The commercial says all I have to bring
我对万物的爱就行了 is my love of everything.
我也就剩那个了 And that's all I have.
嗨 你们这群熊孩子 Hey! Messy Marvins!
Messy Marvin"好时"八十年代广告中把食物弄的一团糟的男孩
在我眼皮底下不准未成年人喝酒 No underage drinking on my watch.
实际上 我这有个我父母留的条儿 Actually, I have a note from my parents
上面说如果喝的酒售价超过75美元 就是有教育意义的 that says if it's over $75 a bottle, it's educational.
什么 不行 去做拼图或者干点别的 What? No. Go do a puzzle or something.
哦天呐 典型的"那个谁"作风 Oh, my God. Classic whoever-you-are.
我曾救过你的命 I saved your life once.
嘿 Kimmy Hey, Kimmy.
我想谢谢你 真心的 I just want to thank you, seriously.
我能继续呆在曼哈顿了 I get to stay in Manhattan.
要是你有朋友 你就能理解我现在的感受了 If you had friends, you'd understand what this feels like.
不客气 You're welcome.
是汽水 It's soda.
我不太喜欢"梅乐" I kind of hate Merlot.
"梅乐"葡萄酒名
Xan 问你挺奇怪的 Hey, Xan, this is weird,
但你有置身于恋爱三角之中过吗 but have you ever been in a love triangle before?
你是说Jacqueline房间里那个树脂金字塔 That Lucite pyramid in Jacqueline's room?
还是有两个男的同时追你 Or are you saying two guys are into you?
两个都很恶心就是啦 Because either way, gross.
我有个朋友说他喜欢我 A friend of mine told me that he liked me,
但是我觉得我可能全给搞砸了 and I think I may have screwed everything up.
你知道的 我从来没交过男朋友 Well, you know that I've never, like, had a boyfriend.
我倒是和Cheshire亲热过几次 I mean, I made out with Cheshire a couple times,
我觉得他就快和Gengi分手了 and I think he's gonna break up with Gengi
因为她是他父母领养来的妹妹 because she's his adopted sister.
天呐 他根本不喜欢我 Oh, my God. He doesn't like me.
只是利用我所以他父母不知道 He's just using me so his parents don't find out
他在和她妹妹勾搭 he's hooking up with his sister.
Xan 再开瓶酒来 Xan, go open another bottle.
Terry 给我来杯啤酒喝喝 Terry, I'll have a beer drink.
我今天不上班 I'm not working today.
我要去<明星伙伴2>去试镜 I have an audition for Entourage 2.
我不可能会过的 Oh, I'll never pass.
她的脸要是有她屁股一半诱人 "Yo, if her face is half as good as her ass,
我就用我的前枪强上她后门 I'm gonna greenlight her back nine with my front four."
哎哎哎 Oh, yi-yi-yi.
专心点 Titus Commit, Titus.
再努力点 Commit!
她的脸要是有她屁股一半诱人 "Yo, if her face is good as her ass,
我就用我的前枪强上她后门 I'm gonna greenlight her back nine with my front four."
嘿 你说什么呢 Hey, what'd you say?
我 什么都没说啊 Me? Nothing.
等等 Wait.
你觉得我是在找她搭讪么 Did you think I was hitting on her?
是啊 你个色狼 Yeah, horn dog, I do.
好吧 跟你妹子说 Well, tell your lady
我想用那什么强上她的胸膛 I want to greenlight her chest with...
然后操点什么 And bang stuff.
恶 Ew!
我能演直男啦 I'm passing for straight.
我能演直男啦 I'm passing for straight!
你当然能了 Of course you are.
Titus 你一直都能演直男 You've always been able to pass for straight, Titus.
你只需要向一个人证明你可以 The only person you needed to audition for
那就是你 was yourself.
你的意思是 You mean?
根本没有<明星伙伴2>的试镜 There is no Entourage 2 audition.
不会有<明星伙伴2>了 There is no Entourage 2.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
不会有<明星伙伴2>了 There is no Entourage 2!
我手机找不到了 I can't find my phone.
伙计 快过来看 Dude, come over here.
我在网上欺负Finkel老师 I'm cyber-bullying Mr. Finkel.
我装做他的前妻 I'm pretending to be his ex-wife,
他还信了 and he's buying it.
你如果依然爱我 那就快过来 "If you still love me, come over right now
把我男朋友杀了 and kill my boyfriend."
Xanthippe 这什么情况 Xanthippe, what is going on?
你在这里干嘛 What are you doing here?
是我干的 I did!
我在里面听不清楚 I couldn't really hear in there.
你妈是不是问了 Did your mom not just say,
"如果不是你发的短信 那是谁干的" "If you didn't send these texts from your phone, who did?"
你搞什么鬼 What the hell are you doing?
Xan的生母女士 我不是个吸毒的妓女 Mrs. Xan's Real Mom, I'm not a crack whore.
我叫Kimmy I'm Kimmy.
是你给我发的短信吗 You texted me?
怪不得Xanthippe都给拼错了 That explains why you spelled "Xanthippe" Wrong.
- Z-E-H - 不对 拼错了 住嘴 - Z-E-H... - No. Wrong. Stop.
重点是 The point is,
之前我们是骗你的 we tricked you earlier.
那不是个毒品窝子 That wasn't a crack den.
那是 That was...
我认识的某个衰仔的家 the home of some loser I know.
妈 她脑子不正常 She's crazy, mom
嗑药磕多了 From the drugs.
我那么做是因为我以为我是在帮她 I only did it because I thought I was helping your daughter,
防止她的生活被人"呆"走 keeping her from having her life tooken away.
不好意思 你是不是用了"呆"走而不是带走 I'm sorry, did you just say "Tooken" Instead of "Taken"?
当然不是 Of course not.
但后来我发现 But then I realized,
她的朋友真是太坏了 her friends are just the worst.
Simone撒谎成性 Simone is a pathological liar.
Jay Z就在我家 但是他很忙 Jay Z is at my house, but he's really busy.
没时间见你们 You can't meet him.
但是Xan是个好孩子 But Xan is a good kid.
我知道 I know.
我哥各种边缘性人格障碍 My brother's, like, borderline everything,
我从他洗手间偷了这些出来 and I stole these from his bathroom.
随便吃吃看会怎么样吧 Should we just see what happens?
她骗人的 That's a lie!
我现在可嗨了 I'm super high.
我眼前都是五彩斑斓的 I'm, like, seeing colors.
我的天呐 Oh, my God.
发现这个之后 After I saw that,
我到处看了看 I did some snooping.
我在Xan的房间里找到了她的成绩单 I found Xan's report card in her room.
全是A 还在上拉丁文的大学预科 Straight As? AP Latin?
她还在吹双簧管 Also, she plays the oboe in band.
还不是乐队里 Not in a band.
是仪仗队 In band.
当我发现下面这个东西 And when I saw this next one,
连我都忍不住觉得 even I couldn't help but think,
哎哟喂 这书呆子真是没救了 "Man, this nerd is lame."
她的鸟类观察防水记录本 It's her waterproof birding journal.
你看到了厚嘴崖海鸦 在哪 You saw a Thick-Billed Murre? Where?
妈 我现在不想谈这 Mom, I don't want to talk about it right...
在乌龟池那边 可漂亮了 It was at Turtle Pond. It was glorious.
Voorhees先生的第一任夫人女士 Mrs. Mr. Voorhees' First Wife,
我觉得去康涅狄克 not only do I think it will be good for Xan
不仅对Xan有好处 to be in Connecticut,
能有Xan也是康涅狄克州的荣幸 I think it will be good for Connecticut to have Xan.
我绝对不会放过你的 I am gonna get you back for this.
我不管要费多久 I don't care how long it takes.
我要学尽康涅狄克州所有的复仇方式 I will learn everything Connecticut can teach me
让你为此付出代价 about revenge, and I will make you pay!
你看上去难道不棒吗 Oh, don't you look lovely.
嗷 Aww.
你看上去也不棒 You also don't look lovely.
那是 That's...
是时候了 So here we go.
该去见公婆了 Meeting the parents.
畅通无阻 With no obstacles.
我来 Here.
就跟以前在学校里 It's like at school,
我跑障碍跑的时候一样 when I used to run the hurdles,
他们会把所有的障碍都拆了 but they would remove all my hurdles.
这样我几乎每次都第一 That way I almost always won.
是啊 Dong已经不是问题了 Yeah. Dong's out of the picture.
他现在都不在纽约呢 He's not even in New York anymore.
都出美国了 He's not even in the United States.
你说什么呢 What are you talking about?
难道你知道移民局的事 Do you know about the immigration thing?
噢 Oh.
跟你直说了吧 我可不怕承认 All right, look, I'm not ashamed to admit it.
是我给他们打的电话 I called them.
什么 What?
Kimmy 他冲我动手了 Kimmy, that man attacked me.
而且他还是非法入境的 And he was in the country illegally.
爸比说我应该告发他 Daddy said I should tell.
这你怎么干得出来 That's horrible!
我要你离开我家 I want you to leave.
你开玩笑吗 Are you kidding?
Kimmy 我承认 Kimmy, I'll allow that perhaps
这么做有点小极端 it was a tad extreme,
但也是为了我们好 but I did it for us.
还谈什么我们 There is no us.
而且哪有儿子是爸爸的贴心小棉袄的 And there's no such thing as a Daddy's Boy.
是吗 Oh, really?
那1938年的那个音乐剧<爸爸的小棉袄>呢 Then what about the 1938 musical Daddy's Boy?
讲一个在海上服役数月的水手 About a sailor who gets off his ship after months at sea
一回来就找他的爸爸去了 and goes straight to visit his daddy.
出去 Get out.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
唉呀 Yikes.
看来人真的会忘了怎么骑车的 I guess you can forget!
Dong Dong!
Dong 慢着 Dong, wait!
Kimmy 你来这里干嘛 Kimmy, what are you doing here?
你不能走 You can't go,
因为你不是爸爸的小棉袄 'cause you're not some Daddy's Boy
你不会试图海豚我也不飞艇 who tries to dolphin me and then blimps.
你这句话里的每一个词我都懂(串成一句就不懂了) I understand all those words separately.
你是个好人 You're kind,
而且你幽默 and you're funny,
而且我们的名字都是"小鸡鸡"的意思 and both our names mean "Penis."
而且我也不想做你的朋友 And I don't want to be your friend either,
因为我喜欢你 'cause I like you.
我是喜欢你一样的喜欢你 I mean... I like you, like you.
但是我要像上车一样的上车 But I'm getting on a bus bus.
别走 Stay!
Logan已经不在三角恋里了 Logan is out of the triangle.
现在只是二角恋了 It's now just a regular biangle.
你是说一条线么 You mean a line?
我们得加把劲让你学好几何 Kimmy We need to work on your geometry, Kimmy.
说得对 我们 That's right. We do.
你会留下来吗 So you'll stay?
我也想啊 但是移民局在找我 I want to, but immigration is looking for me.
那又怎样 So?
那些警察花了15年才找到我 It took the police 15 years to find me.
我什么都没说 嗨 蠢货 Nothing. Hi. Gilligan!
Gilligan 64年CBS喜剧<盖里甘的岛>中笨拙的男主 一坏事别人就吼他名字
如果我们要在一起 Kimmy, if we want to date,
谨慎起见 我们应该先结婚 just to be safe, we should probably get married first.
你个Dong(小鸡鸡)说啥 A Dong says what?
我知道听着很疯狂 I know, it's pretty crazy,
但是你好好想想 行么 but just think about it, okay?
不要有压力 但是我时刻都有被驱逐的危险 No pressure. But I'm in jeopardy every day.
*爸爸的贴心小棉袄* *Daddy's Boy*
*我只是爸爸的贴心小棉袄* *I'm just a silly little Daddy's Boy*
*爸爸的贴心小棉袄* *Daddy's Boy*
*他有个爸爸他总有办法取悦* *He's got a daddy that he brings such joy*
*我爸爸高大又贴心* *My daddy's tall and sweet*
*就像跟拐杖糖* *Like a candy cane*
*我们走在街上时* *And when we walk down the street*
*人们的非议我们都不理* *We refuse to explain*
*爸爸的贴心小棉袄* *How a Daddy's Boy*
*贴心小棉袄的爸爸* *And a Daddy's Boy's Daddy*
*贴心小棉袄的爸爸的爸爸* *And a Daddy's Boy's Daddy's Daddy*
*我们爱彼此爱的如此* *Could love each other so*
1938年的音乐灾难<爸爸的贴心小棉袄> And that's how the 1938 musical train wreck
就这样唱到一半结束了 Daddy's Boy ends, mid-song,
因为拍摄团队拒绝再继续参与这项制作 as the crew refused to continue working on the production.
接下来 还是<爸爸的贴心小棉袄>的重播 Coming up next, an encore presentation of Daddy's Boy.
不行 之前都说好了 No! We had a deal!
一 个 广 播 公 司
小哈里森·凡·哈里森 出品
爸爸的贴身小棉袄
瞧瞧 瞧瞧 Well, well, well,
瞧我们发现了什么 what do we have here?
小两口子躲在垃圾桶后面亲热呢 Two little lovebirds canoodling behind a dustbin, and...
先生们 不好意思 Oh, oh, I beg your pardon, sirs.
我家Eldridge和我只是在做体操而已 My Eldridge and I were just doing some calisthenics.
我得保持我最好的体型 警官 I need to be my trimmest, officer.
我快要去五月岬服役了 See, I report for duty in Cape May,
明天就要出发 in, well, less than 24 hours.
你好意思责怪一个 Can you begrudge a father
打算在海军毁了儿子之前再疼爱他一次的父亲吗 one last romp with his boy before the Navy ruins him?
我向您 My apologies to you
和您成年的儿子道歉 先生 and your adult son, sir.
我错把你们当成一对奸夫淫夫了 I mistook you for a pair of common street screwers.
别担心 好先生 Not to worry, my good man.
就跟我爷爷总告诉我的 It's like my grandpapa always told me...
*听听小鸟的轻吟* *Listen to the twiddle of the little dickie-bird*
*你以为听到了什么* *Sometimes what you think you hear*
*其实是错的* *Is not quite what you heard*
*嘀嘀嘀 嘟嘟* *Twiddle-dee, twit-twoo*
*意思是我爱你* *Means "I love you”*
*嘟嘟嘟 嘀嘀* *Tweet-twoo, twidle-dee*
*意思是快走开* *Means "get off of me"*
*嘀嘀嘀 嘀嘀嘀* *Tweetie, tweetie, tweetie*
*意思是你是我的小甜心* *Means "you're my little sweetie"*
*嘀嘟哒嘀嘀* *"Twattie twittie twittle"*
*意思是往右边一点哦* *Means "to your right a little"*
*小鸟 小鸟鸟* *Oh, dickie-bird, dickie-bird*
*小鸟鸟 轻吟* *Dickie-bird do*
*用小鸟鸟的方式表达我爱你* *Trying to tell you that I love you like the dickie-bird do*
号外号外 快来看看啊 Extry, extry! Read all about it!
德国"强攻"波兰啦 Germany mounts offensive against Poles.
我该走了 I must go!
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